Let's make things more complicated...

I have a big decision to make over the next couple of months.

As usual, I can’t leave well enough alone when it comes to managing my life. Since Oldest was born over five years ago, I have tried numerous schedules to balance work and home. It started off pretty normally, with O. going to daycare 4 days a week, and Nana watching him one day. But then Surprise came along (only 14 months after O.) and things changed.

In my efforts to avoid the morning rush, maximize my income-to- daycare expense ratio, and have a little more time for myself and my kids, I’ve rearranged my schedule several times. I’m fortunate that in IT a lot of things need to be done when no one else is working, so I’ve had some flexibility at work. I’ve worked 2-10 and 5AM-1PM. Paid down our bills enough so that we can ALMOST live off DH’s income if we eat eggs or paste noodles most days of the week, and since he has health benefits, a couple of years ago I went part-time 4 days a week. Then 3 days a week. I kept the management title and responsibility while part-time. At one point I thought “I could probably make just as much working a part-time retail job as I do for all this aggravation.” So I tried the part-time retail job. It lasted about a week - let’s just say that a cash register and a long line of people freaked me out, and was not something I wanted to do at this point in my life. So I found some at-home gigs to supplement my income, and asked to demote myself. So now I’m not a manager but a peon, and I get to work 1-2 days in the office plus a whole lotta work at home.

With kindergarten on the horizon, I thought I could finally just commit and stop trying to find the perfect balance. But kindergarten is only half day, so I’ll still have to pay for before-care, and will also have to make sure I leave work by 2:30 PM to pick him up. I’m making enough from my at-home job that I am considering bagging this job. There are some other reasons, but this is getting long and I think I hear crying…