For most of my life, I've been wanting it to be different. Not a change of people or places or scenery, but a differentness in the way I do things. I've always craved more simplicity and productivity, a sort of gliding through the day, accomplishing things and just having life run more smoothly. Without the hassle of distracting thoughts, procrastination, and laziness, or the outside distractions of kids who won't listen to me and require 20 minutes just to get their damn shoes in and get in the #$%& car so that we aren't perpetually in a hurry to be late or just in time.
I have never been able to achieve it, despite countless hours thinking about it, visualizing it, or making spreadsheets designed to organize it and make it happen.
Suddenly though, I feel like maybe it will happen. I've exhausted the planning and analyzing phases and am ready to just be there. I don't know why - perhaps I've just finally - gasp - grown up.
I can see this point right in front of me, separated from my current life by a wide, deep abyss. And that abyss is not bad or scary or limiting, because I can finally see it, where before I couldn't. I know that all I have to do to get there is hold my breath and take a giant leap.
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